If you have a difficult boss and don’t know what to do, read on.
Having a difficult boss can lower your morale at work and increase your stress and anxiety. They can even affect you when you’re out of the office! A recent study found that 70% of employees experienced anxiety at the thought of returning to the office on Monday.
While it may not be realistic for you to quit just yet, you also don’t have to suffer through this. By following our tips below, you can learn how to deal with a difficult boss, and make your office experience a much more positive one.
The ungrateful boss
You go above and beyond for your boss, but they never seem to appreciate your work. What do you do when your boss never says thank you?
First, it might be a good idea to assess the situation. Obviously, we all want positive reinforcement for our work, but it’s also important to manage our expectations. Your boss has a million things going on, and you can’t expect them to commend you for every single little task.
But if you feel like you’ve been doing exceptional work–landing big clients or successfully managing big projects–and it’s still going unnoticed, then it’s time to address the situation.
Don’t confront your boss and demand that they start appreciating your work. Even if you’re in the right, this approach might backfire and you might come across as immature or even unprofessional.
Do ask them for feedback on your work performance. For example, the next time you meet one-on-one, ask them: “How do you think my last project went? Is there anything you liked? Is there anything I should’ve done differently?”
By framing the conversation around your work performance, it gives your boss the opportunity to tell you what you are doing well. This also gives you a chance to toot your own horn. It’s very possible that your boss doesn’t say thank you because they have no idea what you do everyday. (Remember: they have a million plates spinning at once.) And bringing up your recent accomplishments will put you in the forefront of their mind.
The boss with unrealistic expectations
Your boss constantly emails and texts you with last minute requests. They want you to work nights, weekends, and even holidays. Or they want you to rewrite an entire presentation ASAP.
How do you cope when you have an overly demanding boss with unrealistic expectations?
First, you need to set boundaries. Yes, this might seem impossible, and yes, your boss might even bulldoze through them in the beginning, but you need to establish boundaries and stick to them.
You have to “manage your manager” and a big part of that is managing their expectations. You can start by setting boundaries around email and text. Create an email auto-reply for the weekends saying that you’ll respond when you return to the office on Monday. Or put your phone on do-not-disturb during after-work hours.
You can also push back on unrealistic deadlines–but back it up with a good reason. If your boss wants something ASAP, tell them, calmly and professionally, “This sounds like a really important task. I’d like to give it the time and attention it deserves, so I’ll need at least a week to work on it.”
By coming from a place of “This is important and I want to do a good job,” you’ll be more persuasive and your boss will likely agree with you.
Your boss might not positively respond to your boundaries at first. But stay the course. You have to “retrain” your manager’s expectations and that will take time. If your boss still doesn’t respect your boundaries, then bring it up to HR or start looking for a job that has a strong reputation for work-life-balance.
The boss who doesn't value your career growth
In an ideal world, your boss would recommend you for exciting, new career opportunities and help you reach your career goals. But, in real life, your boss is probably preoccupied with their own work and advancing their own career as well.
So don’t put the onus on your boss. Start creating your own opportunities. Ask a colleague if you can pitch in with doing graphic design work. Or offer to head up your company’s social media account. Or if your company is looking for volunteers to assist with an event, always say yes.
The micromanaging boss
Nothing strikes terror in an employee’s heart like a micromanaging boss. Whether they’re constantly demanding to be kept in the loop or even going so far as to edit and rewrite your own work, the micromanager can make you feel anxious and demoralized.
So how do you deal with a micromanager? First, you’ll need to do a little self-reflection. How is your work performance? Are you submitting reports on time and without errors? Are you good at communicating with your boss?
While this exercise might feel uncomfortable, it’s really important to take an honest look at your own work. You don’t want to confront your boss only to learn that your poor performance is the reason for their micromanaging behavior.
If you are doing a good job, then it might help to be overly communicative with your boss. Micromanaging stems from insecurity. So you need to build trust.
At the end of the day or week, send them an email update that summarizes all the things you accomplished and what actions they need to take. This has several benefits:
- You get to show off all your accomplishments.
- You’ll actually get more work done because your boss won’t be hovering over you.
- The micromanager gets to feel like they’re in the loop.
If this doesn’t work, it might be worthwhile to talk to your manager’s boss. If their manager is someone you feel comfortable talking to, then meet with them and bring up your concerns. The head boss might be able to give you good advice or they might be willing to talk to your manager about their behavior.
Dealing with a difficult boss can be challenging, but taking these small, but impactful steps will improve your situation.
Written by JiJi Lee
