It is said that 85 percent of jobs are found through who you know.
If you’re an introvert or someone who hates the idea of networking, you might find the above statistic to be distressing. After all, shouldn’t we be getting jobs and career opportunities based on our skillset, talent, and experience?
The reality is that it’s not just about what you know. Your knowledge and experience won’t mean much unless you also know people who can vouch for you.
To help you feel more comfortable with networking, it might help to reframe what networking actually means to you. Below are some ways to adjust your mindset about networking, along with simple steps you can take to deepen your connections without feeling weird about it.
Why it helps to know people–and not just for job opportunities
They say you spend more time with your coworkers than your own family.
So it makes sense that a manager would want to hire someone who has already been vetted by someone they trust.
Now you might be thinking: I don’t have to know people because I’m not in the corporate world or I’m not looking for a job right now. But even if you’re a creative or a freelancer, you need to know people. If you want to gain a strong reputation in your field or attract new clients, you need other people to notice you and recommend you.
Furthermore, a strong network of people you like and trust is not only good for your career, but it’s vital for you and your well-being.
Think about all the challenges you encounter in your daily work life. Wouldn’t it be nice to have someone who understood what you were going through? Someone you could share these concerns with or get advice from? Or what about your career achievements and milestones? Wouldn’t it be great to have people to celebrate these wins and enjoy the journey with?
Work is hard enough as is. Having people who have your back will make the experience that much more enjoyable and fulfilling.
Develop friendships, not connections
Networking often feels transactional or overly aggressive. A random acquaintance hitting you up for favors or asking you to introduce them to your connections. You yourself hate being put in this position so why would you want to make other people feel uncomfortable as well?
One way to make networking feel less transactional and more natural is to think of it as developing friendships, not connections.
When you’re looking to meet people in your field, don’t just approach someone because they have an impressive job title or resume. Get to know people that you would want to get to know in real life. Do they seem nice and friendly? Do you share similar hobbies and interests? Chances are you’ll have an easier time forming a relationship with these people than someone who simply has a cool job title.
If you hit it off with someone right away–that’s great! If not, don’t force anything too quickly. You don’t have to become thick as thieves right off the bat. The idea is to gradually get to know people and develop a genuine connection based on shared interests.
Get to know your peers and the people who are starting out
Another way to make networking feel less “schmoozy” is to make friends with your peers and those who are more junior than you.
We tend to prioritize networking with higher-ups in the hopes that they’ll mentor us or recommend us for a position. But it’s highly likely that our managers are busy with their own goals and trying to impress their own managers.
Our peers, on the other hand, see how we work day in and day out. If they’ve been around for a while, they’ll understand the culture at your workplace and be better positioned to help you out and offer guidance on new opportunities. Our peers are the ones we should be getting to know better.
And don’t forget about your interns or the junior level people on your team. You never know–a manager might ask them for their honest opinion of you. Or one day they might be in a position to hire you or recommend you for a job.
Everyone has different career trajectories. You never know if a colleague is going to leave your department to take on a higher role at a different company or be in a position to recommend you. So when you’re thinking about your network, don’t just think vertically, consider all the different levels.
Think about how you’d like people to approach you
We’ve all had networking experiences that left a bad taste in our mouth.
The old college friend who emails you out of the blue to get a job referral. Or the stranger on social media who demands that you pass along their resume. Or the networking events where everyone seems to be looking over you to talk to someone more important and worthy of their time.
The good thing about these bad experiences? They offer a valuable lesson: they can teach you what not to do when networking.
Think about bad networking messages you’ve received in the past. What was it about these messages that rubbed you the wrong way? Was it the corporate-heavy jargon? Or a stranger sounding overly familiar? Or the randomness of the timing? When you can put your finger on why you disliked the message, you’ll have an easier time communicating in a way that feels comfortable for you.
Think about networking messages that you responded to. Why did these messages make you want to hit reply? Maybe it was their thoughtfulness: inquiring about how you’re doing; congratulating you on a recent win. Or maybe it was acknowledging the nature of the message. When someone recognizes that it’s been a while since they last messaged you, it makes the interaction feel more honest. Something as simple as “Hey X, it’s been a while since we last spoke and I hope you and your family are doing well!” can go a long way.
Remember: you don’t have to expand your network overnight. Start off slow and make small efforts each day. When you come from a place of genuine interest and curiosity, you will connect with others much more deeply.
Written by JiJi Lee
