As we grow up, our experiences shape who we are and how we see ourselves in the world.
Self esteem cannot be bought, learned from a book, or gifted from one to another. It grows within us, usually without us being even slightly aware of it. We internalize what happens to us and around us throughout our lives, and our brain shapes that into a story of who we are.
Sometimes it’s hard to know just how we feel about ourselves, whether we have high or low self esteem or if we fall somewhere in the ambiguous middle. I’m no psychologist, but I know from experience that the roller coaster of my life has had many highs and lows that shaped how I felt about myself, at the time and today.
Your self esteem affects so much in your life. Beyond the monologue running inside your head, the way you feel about yourself affects how to interact with others, how they see you, how they treat you, what opportunities you get…
The best thing about your self esteem is that it is in your control. It is all about how you *feel* about yourself — not hard or strict rules about your value or worth.
That said, I wrote these affirmations for you. They make up something of a self esteem quiz, where you score your answers on the scale below and add them up for a rough estimate of your personal self esteem.
No matter what you score, you’re an amazing person. That’s the thing about self esteem. It’s infinite, no strings attached. No matter who you are, how you are, or how it feels, you are worthy and you are good.
This quiz is simply here to see how much you believe that statement for yourself.
Read these affirmations aloud and score your agreement with each statement.
- 5 – Strongly agree
- 4 – Somewhat agree
- 3 – Neither agree nor disagree
- 2 – Somewhat disagree
- 1 – Strongly disagree
Read aloud with all the confidence you can muster, even if you’re whispering under your breath.
- I think that overall, I am an interesting and enjoyable person.
- When someone criticizes me, it doesn’t mean I am a failure or bad person.
- If I were in need, I know that there are people who love me that I could turn to for help.
- Those who love me see me as good enough.
- I am noticed and appreciated, and if I were not around, I would be missed by those who love me.
- Sometimes I don’t meet expectations, but I’m always getting better.
- I am a work in progress and that is okay.
- When someone mocks or berates my ideas, I let it roll off my back because they’re entitled to their opinion and it isn’t personal.
- I am capable and talented.
- Regardless of my physical appearance or attributes, I am worthy of respect.
- There’s no need to change who I am to fit in – I am enough just as I am.
- I may not be as good as others in my field, but I am still a successful person.
- When I make a mistake, I take it in stride and learn from it.
- Failure is not fatal.
- I deserve love and respect.
- It’s not important to be liked by everyone I meet, only to give my best first impression.
- I believe that if I dream something, I can achieve it.
- When people point out mistakes I’ve made, I am not ashamed but grateful for the feedback.
- I am confident in my ability to make the right decision.
- The future holds innumerable gifts, lessons, and joys for me of which I am worthy and deserving.
Tally up your score and see how your self esteem level reflects in the breakdown below
If your answers fall between [75 – 100]: High self esteem
You’re a badass and you know it! Having high self esteem doesn’t mean being cocky, prideful, or full of yourself. On the contrary, as an individual with high self esteem, you know that you are inherently worthy of respect, admiration, and kindness just as you are. You trust in your efforts and endeavors that you will be successful and achieve happiness, even in the toughest of times.
Self esteem is not stagnant, nor is it guaranteed. Our vision of ourselves fluctuates in response to our circumstance. Even those with the highest self esteem now may feel themselves decline rapidly in the face of strong adversity, repeated setbacks, or an identity challenge.
Protect your self esteem and your understanding of your self-worth by engaging in reflection and self-care. It’s not enough to see yourself as wonderful in the moment; you need a foundation to which you can return when your self esteem becomes threatened or vulnerable.
Action item: Copy these journaling prompts into your planner or notebook.
- What are the core qualities in myself that make me who I am?
- Is there someone or something in the world that shakes my self esteem, that whenever I encounter them, I feel lessened? What traits could I draw on to bolster my self esteem during challenges?
- How do I boost the self esteem and quality of life for those around me, both acquaintances and strangers?
If your answers fall between [50 – 75]: Moderate self esteem
Deep down, you know that you are inherently good, wonderful, talented, smart, and capable. Yet, there may be something (or a few things), standing in the way of your truly believing it.
Our entire lives are stream of opportunities to fortify our self-image in a good or not-so-good way. While each of us is born whole and perfect, life can throw us challenges and individuals who lead us to believe otherwise.
Scoring in this range of moderate self esteem in our quirky quiz means that there may be a hang-up in your believing that you are worthy of success, praise, and accolades. What might be standing in your way?
Action item: Copy these journaling prompts into your planner or notebook.
- As you read the above affirmations in this quiz out loud, did you hear a nagging voice in the back of your head? How did that voice respond to the positive statements?
- Did any of these affirmations make you scoff, recoil, or feel uncomfortable? Why do you think that is?
- When in your life do you see yourself as the best version of YOU? What were you doing, where were you, who were you with, and why is that version of you the best?
Write your responses to those prompts in your journal. The answers that arise may be uncomfortable or may not make sense at first, but let the words flow out of you. You may discover what is standing in your way of the high self esteem you rightly deserve.
If your answers fall between [20 – 50]: Let’s boost that self esteem!
Scoring between 20 – 50 on this quirky quiz means that you may have answered disagree or neither agree or disagree to a large portion of these questions? My heart goes out to you, because reading positive affirmations is not easy at all.
Maybe these affirmations made you snicker. Maybe they sounded stupid. Irrelevant. Lame. Pure fluff with no value.
Do you feel that way when someone compliments you? Does their compliment seem like it’s insincere or that it bears no weight? Like you don’t deserve it? Or they don’t deserve to give a compliment in the first place?
Regardless of how this silly quiz is scored, there’s something to be said about not feeling comfortable with and worthy of positively affirmative statements. In truth, you do deserve success, accolades, acceptance, praise, love, and joy. Whatever is holding you back or holding you down, you can break it apart and feel different. Stronger, better, happier.
Action item: Copy these journaling prompts into your planner or notebook.
- Ask yourself: What came to mind while I was reading these affirmations? If you didn’t read them aloud, try. Record how that inner monologue, that nagging voice in your head, responds to your proclaiming your awesomeness.
- Ask someone who loves you (and record their answer as best you can in your journal): What do you see in me that is good? Do you find me talented? Smart? Strong? Capable? This interview process is important. Even if you don’t believe a word they’re saying, record it anyway. You may want to revisit it later.
- Ask someone you don’t know very well, like a teacher, colleague, or peer: What do you like best about yourself? You may be surprised by their answer. It may give you insight into new ways of judging yourself that are not so harsh. Ask as many people as you can and record the answers.
No matter your score, I encourage you to read and answer each of the self esteem focused journaling prompts.
Wherever you are in your journey, knowing your worth and your inherent goodness is essential to living your best life.
Each of us struggles, questioning our identity and our capability in the face of challenges. If we are feeling low, like we ourselves are not enough to meet the demands life is throwing at us, the first step is to put goodness out in the world. To bolster the self esteem and worth of others, so that we see, through them, that we are all worthy of success, praise, acceptance, love, and joy.
What makes you feel like you are valuable? Where do you want to achieve results? Making an effort to do more of what makes you feel like a valuable, worthy person can also help you to shift your self esteem mindset.
Is there someone in your life who is curious about their self esteem? Consider sending them this quiz and lending yourself as an ally in their journey of discovery.
