20 Ways to Improve Your Relationships

Are you making an effort to improve your most important relationships?

It’s easy to take our personal and professional relationships for granted. Life gets busy and we don’t always remember to check-in with the important people in our lives. That’s why it’s always good to take the temperature of our current relationships, and see how things are going, and if there’s anything you can do to nurture your bonds. 

After all, no person is an island. We need other people. Whether it’s a friend to share laughs with or a coworker to bounce ideas off of or vent to after a tough day at work, life is so much better and more interesting with other people in it. 

Here are some ideas to help you improve your relationships and make sure that you’re doing your part to be a good friend, family member, or coworker. 

Taking stock of your relationships

First, take a notebook and start making a list of your important relationships. 

This can include:

• Family and loved ones

• Close friends

• Coworkers

• Managers

• Acquaintances that you’d like to get to know 

For this next part, you might want to refer to your planner to help you jog your memory. Look back on the past few months and ask yourself:

1. Which relationships energized or inspired you? 

2. What activities or events did you enjoy doing with them? How did you spend meaningful time with them?

Maybe you really enjoyed having a game night with your friends. Or going for a hike with your family. Or playing softball with your coworkers. These answers would suggest that you’d probably get a lot more out of doing fun, laidback activities, than, say, going for a drink at a bar.

Once you have a better idea of the people you enjoy spending time with, and the activities you enjoy doing with them, you can be more thoughtful about planning different ways to hang out with them or get to know them a little bit better. 

For the second part of the exercise, ask yourself: 

3. Which relationships seemed to drain your energy? 

4. What can you do to improve this relationship?

This part of the exercise might feel a little awkward and uncomfortable, but it’s important to be honest in your assessment, especially if you have a tendency to people please.

And taking time to pinpoint what it is about these particular relationships that seemed to drain or frustrate you can then help you find ways to improve and strengthen the relationships. 

Try to see if there’s a common thread of these relationships that are draining you. 

Is it because you’re always meeting up with them on their terms? Maybe the other person can compromise and meet on a day or time that works best for you. 

Or is it because you’re meeting up with them after a tough day at work? Then it might help to schedule a time to meet when you’re feeling more refreshed. 

Or maybe it’s a matter of changing up the environment or the context of your interaction. For example, if you’re tired of having frustrating conversations about work or current events, then try doing something physical and interactive, like going rock climbing together or participating in a trivia night. 

Sometimes just switching things up can improve the dynamic of a relationship. 

Small, but meaningful ways to stay in touch 

Here are some small ways that you can nurture your most important relationships. Jot these down on a post-it and keep them somewhere visible so you can remember to do something off this list every now and then. 

1. Send snail mail on their birthday and other special occasions. 

2. Send a postcard from your travels.

3. Send them a funny video with a little note: “this made me think of you.” 

4. If you see a book in a Little Library that your friend might like, get it for them.

5. Forward articles you think they might like. 

6. Go to a bookstore with your friend. 

7. Send a congratulatory message to a coworker who recently did a cool, new project or achieved a career milestone.

8. If a coworker is launching a new business venture or product, share it to your feed to help boost their message.

9. Go grocery shopping with your parents or in-laws. 

10. Organize a seasonal dinner with your friends. A seasonal activity ensures that you’ll get to see your friends regularly without having to schedule something all the time.

Thoughtful and deeper ways to nurture your relationship

11. Spend time with your friend and their kids. They’ll love that you’re taking the time to get to know their little ones.

12. If you know that your friend is going to be alone with the kids while their partner’s away, then FaceTime or message them to offer moral support. 

13. Did your friend or favorite coworker get a new job or promotion? Send them a congratulatory gift like a fancy, new notebook or a bouquet of flowers.

14. Accompany your friend to a medical appointment. Whether it’s for a serious issue or a regular check-up, your friend will appreciate having someone by their side. 

15. Do a park clean up with your coworkers. You’ll get to see each other outside of the office and do something good for your community while you’re at it. 

16. Offer your expertise. Maybe a friend needs social media help for their new business. Offer to help out and pitch in, or recommend someone who can do the job well. 

17. Invite the new person in your office out to coffee or lunch. 

18.  Offer to connect people. Maybe your favorite coworker is applying for a job at a dream company and you happen to know someone who works there. Offer to connect your coworker with them and help them out. 

19. Offer to mentor the junior members of your team. The junior staff will really appreciate it and your boss will really appreciate you taking the time to do it. 

20. Listen and be present. Whether it’s a dinner date or at a meeting, giving someone your full attention and making them feel heard and understood is always appreciated. 

Written by JiJi Lee