Setbacks are never easy. But you can bounce back with the help of a resilience toolkit.
Resilience is the ability to recover from obstacles, setbacks, and failure.
An entrepreneur who’s pitched dozens of potential investors only to hear “no” needs resilience to overcome the rejection and move forward. Or a student trying to get into grad school needs resilience to move past the rejection letters and apply again.
A resilient person isn’t defined by their failures and mistakes. It’s how they respond to these challenges that shapes their character and success.
So then, how does one develop resilience?
Fortunately, you don’t have to be naturally blessed with a resilient character. You can develop your resilience muscles and strengthen your ability to overcome the challenges in your life with practice and patience. And you can do so by building your own go-to resilience toolkit.
Oftentimes, when we’re feeling disappointed or stressed after a challenging experience, we feel too out of sorts to comfort ourselves in a productive and supportive way.
But, by identifying your favorite coping strategies and self-care routines ahead of time, and having them all assembled in your “toolkit,” you can turn to these resources whenever you need support.
What’s in your resilience toolkit?
When it comes to figuring out what to keep in your resilience toolkit, ask yourself: What helps me feel grounded? What makes me feel safe and confident?
Here are some of the tools you might want to have available in your resilience toolkit.
- Habits and routines that help you feel strong and confident
- A book that inspires you
- A friend or loved one who makes you feel supported and heard
- A song lyric or inspirational quote that moves you
- A candle or pleasant smelling lotion that revives your senses and re-invigorates you
- Clothes that make you feel cozy and safe
Look to past hardships to help you overcome current challenges
Resilience is forged through past hardships and adversity. Knowing that you have come through the fire before will give you the confidence and the fortitude to navigate any new challenges that arise.
For this exercise, take out your journal and think back to some recent challenges in your life. Did you get laid off? Lose a valuable client? Experience financial troubles? Make a list of those recent struggles.
Then, take a look at these past struggles and ask yourself: How did I overcome them? What did I do to move past them? What behaviors or thought patterns can I replicate for future challenges?
For example, maybe you learned to ask for help from your loved ones and trusted colleagues. Or maybe you relied on journaling and meditation to gain clarity and focus.
Take some to think about the tools and resources that made you feel supported. How did you recover? How were you able to push through the adversity and land on your feet?
So the next time you experience a challenge or obstacle, think back to these past setbacks and remind yourself that you were able to get through those challenges and you will undoubtedly be able to overcome your present circumstances. Using the tools and systems that have helped you before will help you successfully navigate new challenges as well.
Strengthening exercises for your resilience toolkit
One way to develop more resilience is to build your “resilience muscles.” Building a resilience muscle is no different from building a regular muscle. The idea is to do little reps on a consistent basis so that you can develop your strength and endurance over time.
For example, let’s say you’re trying to build a business but you’re afraid of taking on all the potential risks involved. So if you have a fear of risk-taking and failure, think of little ways that you can build your resilience and mental fortitude around that.
Ideas:
- Making one small ask a day. For example: Asking a friend to introduce you to someone in their professional network.
- Posting about your work on Instagram or LinkedIn.
- Cold-emailing at least 3 potential clients a week.
By doing these little resilience exercises every day or every week, you will gradually build your resilience muscles until these acts become second nature to you. Rejections and “no’s” won’t sting as much because you’ve grown accustomed to taking on these small risks.
Self-care routines for your resilience toolkit
Hardships and obstacles help us grow and mature as a person. And while hardships will ultimately make us stronger people, it’s also important to acknowledge that they do take a toll on our emotional and mental well-being.
That’s why it’s so essential to do something calming and restorative so that you can recover from the mental and physical stress of a challenging experience.
For instance, maybe it’s meditating for 10 minutes a day. Or going for a long, leisurely walk after work. Or treating yourself to a movie and dinner at your favorite restaurant.
Ideally, you should be doing something gentle and comforting for yourself every day. This way, you’ll already have a baseline of calm and focus that you can connect to when needed.
Some ideas for self care routines include:
- Journaling in the morning to start your day off on a calm note
- Going for a quick walk in the middle of the work day to refresh your mind
- Writing a list of things you are grateful for at the end of the day
- Doing a weekly review to take stock of lessons learned
- Celebrating your small wins everyday
Comforting environments for your resilience toolkit
Another essential component of a resilience toolkit is knowing which environments bring you a sense of peace and calm.
- A community garden
- A local park
- A cozy nook in your apartment
- A pretty corner in your bedroom
So the next time you’re going through a difficult moment, try to seek out these peaceful environments or do something small to make your current environment feel more soothing and gentle. For example, lighting a candle or playing a peaceful playlist can transform your environment and space.
Written by Jiji Lee