Is your perfectionism getting in the way of your success?
You just landed your first big freelancing client and have no idea what to do or where to even start. But instead of asking for advice and risk being seen as unintelligent, you procrastinate on the project.
You have to write a report for your boss, but you’re laboring over every word and detail. You’re so worried about making any mistakes that you end up submitting the report past its deadline.
You’ve always dreamed of being an artist, but after your first attempt at painting something, you can’t get over how bad it is and never pick up a paintbrush again. You want to avoid embarrassment more than you want to feel success.
If you struggle with perfectionism, you might have been in one of those situations, in some form or another.
It may be hard to accept, but being perfect doesn’t always lead to exceptional work. In fact, perfection can hinder your work or progress. You become so fixated on making sure that everything is perfect that you end up losing sight of the big picture and hurting your performance.
While it’s great to have high standards and give yourself something to strive for, it’s not always helpful to be aiming for perfection, especially if it’s stopping you from doing good work or trying new things.
If you’re always aiming for perfection, you’re getting in the way of your own growth. Sure, when you don’t experiment or take any risks, you might be doing well in the short-term, but you’re hampering your growth in the long-term. You have to be open to making mistakes and taking risks now so that you can invest in your future growth.
You might opt for perfectionism because you fear that without being perfect, you won’t be seen as trustworthy or intelligent or capable. But there are alternatives to perfectionism that will allow you to do your best, without it being debilitating.
Below we’ll take a look at the practical techniques you can use to combat perfectionism and learn how to love the process–mistakes and all.
Have a beginner’s mentality
In this interview, filmmaker Greta Gerwig shares a powerful quote from Mike Nichols on the importance of having a beginner’s mindset: You only get to not know what you are doing once, and it’s very powerful so don’t miss it. You will do things that you will never do again because you didn’t know you were supposed to be scared of them.
When we’re new to something, we’re terrified of doing the wrong thing or saying something dumb. We worry about judgment and criticism from others. We want to look like an expert from day one.
But expertise is honed over time and informed by lots and lots of experience.
So instead of trying to become an expert overnight, embrace being a beginner.
When you’re new to something, you’re coming at it from a fresh, unique perspective. Sure, everyone in your office may have years of experience and tons of institutional memory, but this knowledge might hinder them from making innovative decisions or from taking risks.
As a beginner, you don’t really know anything yet, and you can use this to your advantage. Your mistakes can be a breath of fresh air. Or your lack of knowledge can fuel your curiosity and lead you to go down interesting rabbit holes, and gain insight into things your colleagues never even considered.
Make it low stakes
Maybe you have an interview for your dream job and you think this is your only shot. Or maybe you’re presenting in front of the board and you need it to go perfectly or else you won’t get promoted. But it’s impossible to perform at a high level when you’re telling yourself that this is your one and only shot.
So what should you do in these high pressure situations?
Pretend that it’s low stakes.
In the book “Performing Under Pressure,” Drs. Hendrie Weisinger and J.P. Pawliw-Fry recommend telling yourself that you will get another shot or that another opportunity will come along. After all, you’ve had job interviews in the past, and you’ve likely given presentations or something akin to that as well. So why wouldn’t you get another opportunity in the future?
So the next time you’re pressuring yourself to ace that job interview, try reframing the situation. Tell yourself, “This isn’t my only shot. I’ll have lots of other chances.”
You’ll notice a release of tension in yourself and in your body. As a result, you’ll be able to perform the task much more calmly and effectively.
Give yourself a safe space to make mistakes
So you know that making mistakes and taking risks is a crucial part of the learning process. After all, you can’t grow unless you know what it is that you need to improve.
But, at the same time, it’s understandable that you’re going to feel nervous about making mistakes in front of others. How do you show your progress and get feedback without risking your reputation or credibility?
A great way to workshop your material is to “beta test” it in a low-risk environment. So instead of presenting for the first time in front of the board, you’re going to practice your speech in front of your team or family members.
Others examples:
Want to grow as a writer? Don’t ask a top editor to review your work–that puts way too much pressure on your first draft. A better option is to form a writer’s group or join a class. You’ll get constructive feedback in a supportive environment and you’ll feel safe to take risks.
Want to pitch a new client? Don’t pitch your dream client first. Instead, try pitching to your friends, family, and former clients. You’ll be more comfortable around people you already know and you’ll get to hone your pitching skills in front of a friendly crowd.
Want to become a better performer? Don’t perform at the biggest venue in your city. You’ll benefit from signing up for open mics and practicing your craft in a low stakes environment.
When you let go of perfection, you’ll open yourself up to growth and possibility. And more importantly, letting go of perfection will lead to acceptance. Acceptance that you are human and that you are enough.
Written by JiJi Lee
