Building self-esteem is something that takes time.
It can’t be done overnight or be rushed, and it is an affliction that affects nearly 20% of students across the United States and tens of millions more around the world.
To conquer self-esteem within yourself, you’ll need patience, time, mindfulness and space to explore yourself, as well as the correct tools to help you along the way.
One such tool is journaling.
By combining the calm of writing, the importance of self-reflection, and the power of positive affirmation, you can create an environment that fosters self-worth and helps you build a foundation of self-esteem.
But what does all this mean, and how can it fit into your everyday life which is already rammed with responsibilities, children, pets, work and socializing?
We will be looking at real, actionable tips that will help you adapt your routine, build time for yourself into your day, and feel the difference as you rebuild yourself with a self-esteem journal, learning to understand yourself once again.
Understanding self-esteem
Self-esteem is the way we perceive and value ourselves; it’s built upon a myriad of foundations like our opinions, beliefs, monetary security, social interactions and much more.
Whilst low self-esteem (LSE) is not a mental illness in and of itself, it can lead or contribute to many mental afflictions that affect everyday life and can manifest itself in many ways such as being constantly critical of ourselves. The more we criticize ourselves, the more at risk we are of developing patterns of low self-esteem.
Low self-esteem can have a massively detrimental impact on the way we like and value ourselves as people, make decisions, find time for ourselves, have confidence in our day-to-day lives and, tragically, can make us feel like we don’t deserve happiness.
We might also think of low self-esteem as self-confidence due to these effects, and whilst there is good reason to consider them in the same instance, self-confidence cannot come without solid self-esteem.
Let’s take a look at how to start the journey towards improving your low self-esteem.
The power of affirmations
What are affirmations?
Affirmations are quite literally positive statements that we can repeat regularly to challenge and overcome negative thoughts; they can allow you to focus on your strengths and capabilities, stop self-sabotaging and hopefully change your mindset to a more positive one.
Affirmations essentially train your brain to think differently, reinforcing a constructive self-image and encouraging proactive behavior over a natural pessimistic thought process. It may sound simple, but it really works.
How affirmations impact the mind
Shifting the focus from negative to positive thoughts can make all the difference, and when consistently repeated can actually help to rewire the brain. This process, known as neuroplasticity, enables the brain to adapt and change as new pathways and connections are made, enabling the replacement of harmful thought patterns with positive and constructive ones.
Affirmations can:
- Boost self-esteem: By reinforcing positive beliefs about oneself, you can significantly enhance self-worth and confidence, which is why we are here!
- Reduce stress: Counteract stress and anxiety by promoting a sense of calm and control.
- Encourage positive actions: Believing in one’s abilities can motivate proactive behavior, leading to personal growth and achievement.
Start with a simple commitment
Start your journey with a few simple goals and intentions.
Writing these achievable intentions down will achieve two things; firstly, you’ll be able to see your own progress in real time. Ensuring that these goals are attainable, then reaching them and crossing them off your list can have a huge positive impact on your positivity; no matter how small.
Secondly, you’ll be able to slowly increase the importance and size of these intentions and the impacts will spread through your life and mental state; results matter, so make sure you get better at attaining them.
If you’re struggling to find time to do anything in your hectic schedule, then one of your goals could quite literally be to sit still and reflect for five minutes. It does not have to be a major element of your day, but it could make all the difference.
Consistency over quantity
Doing tiny things to begin with is the key to understanding how to make real changes, and this is reinforced by doing things properly with consistency, rather than squeezing in a journaling session where you scribble thoughtlessly a few times a day.
Instead, ensure you’re taking 5 or 10 minutes at the same every day, and really engaging with what you’re writing, or what you’re thinking about. Don’t rush, think it through and really mean what you write.
Create a comfortable space
Ensuring you have a place to escape too is essential for quiet and deep reflection, and this does not have to be a private study, or even a physical space; not everyone has the luxury of such locations.
A comfortable corner with a small area to write is enough, or an outdoor space where you can separate yourself from the goings on around you; even a cafe, or public space can be the right place for you. Some people will be able to put on headphones and block out the world wherever they are, just do what works for you.
The key element is that this becomes your dedicated journaling spot, and whether it’s a physical escape, or mental one, you’ll be able to focus entirely on the journal in front of you, and the thoughts within.
Keep supplies handy
Once you do have a set space to journal, then ensuring you’ve got the necessary supplies ready to go is really important. Sitting down to write and not having the capability to do so could be quite disruptive for your new pattern.
If you write on the go, or don’t have a set location to journal, then ensure you have travel-sized gear that can be used on the go, and never be caught short.
Start with gratitude
If you have no idea how to start the process of writing a journal then starting with a daily gratitude list can be a great way to get into the swing of things.
Start by listing the things in your life for which you are grateful; that’s all you have to do, and the power of simply thinking and reflecting on the positive things around you can improve your mood, help you see things clearly and allow you to start to feel grateful again.
Focussing on gratitude for the things in your life will help to shift your mindset to a positive one, and from here you can elaborate on the things that matter to you and go into more depth. For those short on time, or journaling in spare moments, even a very short gratitude list can make all the difference.
Address negative thoughts
Negative thoughts are a part of life and there is no way to stop them entirely; instead; what you should be aiming for is how to acknowledge, reframe and accept these thoughts. Don’t battle them, try to understand them.
Reframing a negative thought is a method that sees you try to understand a thought process by writing it down and going through prompts on how to improve the thought or moment.
Let’s look at an example of how to address negative thoughts.
Negative thought: “I’m a terrible person because I lost my temper with my child today.”
Reframed positive thought: "I am a loving and dedicated parent who sometimes makes mistakes. Today, I lost my temper, but I am committed to learning from this experience and improving my patience."
Try to use these prompts to reframe your own negative thoughts:
- Identify the negative thought: Write down the negative thought as it is.
- Acknowledge your feelings: Briefly note how this thought makes you feel without judgment.
- Reframe the thought: Transform the negative thought into a positive or constructive one.
- Actionable steps: List any steps you can take to improve the situation or prevent it from happening again.
Using anti-goals
Just as having a list of goals or achievements can help to change your mindset, having a list of anti-goals can help you realize the positive elements of yourself that you want to keep. Your anti-goals are things that you want to avoid happening, or things you don’t want to change about yourself in the process of learning to improve your self-esteem.
Things like sacrificing family time, remaining not-present and distracted, or losing touch with friends all fall into the anti-goals category, and listing them can help you figure out how to avoid these things happening in the real world.
Journaling to build self-esteem
So there you have it, some tips on how to improve your self-esteem, change your thought patterns, live in the moment, avoid negativity and embrace a more positive self image; all with the help of a simple journal.
Your self-esteem should never be taken lightly as it reinforces the very foundations of everything you do. Remain positive, learn from the negatives, reflect on your emotions and process the things that happen to you on the pages of your very own journal; you’ll be amazed at how quickly you see results.
Remember, it’s not about finding a large amount of time but about making the most of the moments you have, and maintaining the positive patterns.
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Today's post is a guest post from Gemma Hart.
Gemma Hart works remotely from as many coffee shops as she can find. Since graduating many moons ago, Gemma has gained experience in a number of HR roles but now turns her focus towards growing her personal brand and connecting with leading experts in productivity and education. Connect with her on Twitter: @GemmaHartTweets
